Col. Robert E. Hogan Louis LeBeau: I will personally hold them spellbound with my repertoire of songs, dances and snappy patters. I have given it many hours of intelligent thought. What better place to keep him. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, oh, Herr General, you're much thinner than I thought you'd be. You'd make somebody a good wife. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Be quiet and listen to the music! Sgt. You might as well have said Friday, for all I care. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: The execution takes place tomorrow as scheduled. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Well, it's true, we dug the tunnel and tried to escape. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR SECURITY HERE. [pause] So what if you haven't told me who you're calling yet? Take him away, Klink. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What is this man doing here? If they see anybody suspicious, shoot them. Sgt. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Berlin is calling every minute. Are you expecting any warm clothing? : Himmler is a rat fink. Hans Georg Schultz: [Leaving barracks, after finding out Hogan's plans regarding the tank] I know nothing! I told you. Andrew Carter: [dressed as Klink] Maybe you better run through it once more. The rest is detail. Now that you all know it [Schultz leaves and then re-enters the room]. Col. Robert E. Hogan: After two years here, who cares what they look like? Quotes [] Mueller looks at picture of Sgt. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: They must be sending out the location of our rocket launchers. Hans Georg Schultz: Don't they drink tea in France? Colonel Klink: [to Burkhalter, over the radio, about the party] I'm only sorry there is no ice cream. Demolished the building, wiped out the garrison, killed Kommandant Hedrick, knocked the Fuhrer's picture off the wall and everything. Col. Wilhelm Klink: I distinctly told you Wednesday, not Tuesday. Anyone within a hundred yards of this rocket will be shot and reshot. Hans Georg Schultz: You forgot pigs By the way who are we talking about? : General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Higher than that, my wife. If my head is to roll, all heads will roll. "What happend to the Duke of York?" Louis LeBeau: All you're gonna get is my name, rank and serial number. Who is this man and what is he doing here! Col. Robert E. Hogan: I know who the fool is. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Thank you, General Burkhalter. Hans Georg Schultz: Achtung! Isaac Bashevis Singer We were born with natural rights. Hans Georg Schultz: General Burkhalter, what are you doing here? Cpl. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Mm-hmm, we think it'll, uh it'll go a lot easier for you, sir - you should be prepared. General von Rauscher: She is my interpreter, Hochstetter. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Ahhh. Yes, Major Hochstetter. Hans Georg Schultz: [after being told he does not have to transfer] You mean I do not have to go? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Then what's the bad news? Cpl. It's superb. Col. Wilhelm Klink Hans Georg Schultz: I got into the wrong conversation. Cut the wire. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: That is where he was truly brilliant. Hans Georg Schultz: Why? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: The message is: "I am foul. Until I clear you, you will please stop inventing. The Fuhrer? Marya: Major Hochstetter is a genius, Putzie. Colonel Crittendon: No need to worry, I have a photographic memory. 1 May 2023. I shall do it right away. You are ignorant! Col. Robert E. Hogan: They *shot* Holtz trying to escape- you're next! Col. Wilhelm Klink: That I'd have to think over. Col. Robert E. Hogan: [telling Klink what a good catch Burkhalter's sister is to marry] Gertrude is just the kind of woman you need. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Who's defending him? Major Hochstetter has found a U.S. Armed Forces button a. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink! And I believe a full corporal. Except, Major, I quite clearly had no part in this whole affair. Who am I? My dear Major, there is no danger of it firing Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Louis LeBeau: Yes he does! What witness? Sgt. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe: Right, Colonel. The ultimate weapon didn't quite work out. . Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, this is so degrading. Kommandant Klink's orders. I'm worried about spying. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Burkhalter arrives by car] Ah, General Burkhalter its been such a long time. Col. Robert E. Hogan: So what? : [repeated line] Major Hochstetter : Who is this man and what is he doing here! Hogan: After your supply factory is blown up and the Gestapo blame you and you still want to stay? Cpl. Col. Wilhelm Klink: You fool! General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: It just doesn't seem possible. Col. Robert E. Hogan: No, me Hogan. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: That phone call. Andrew Carter: Well, I'm still willing to try, Colonel. You are undermining my confidence. Sgt. Hi there. Now, I know what you're thinking - I'm a writer; why don't I write it myself? Cpl. The war is back on! Sgt. Klink is bucking for rat fink. Sgt. Sgt. *Now* I'm delivering *newspapers*! Sgt. I meant green dress, of course. Col. Wilhelm Klink: All potato rations are cut in half for ten days. Technical Specs. Harold J Stone and Howard Caine make the believable and entertaining. What is going on there? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Major Hochstetter, you won't believe this. Hogan:"Last night I dreamt Schultz ate all the dynamites." LeBeau:"With him that's possible." Klink:"I can smell the sauerbraten. While being heartily congratulated by the painter, painter's daughter, LeBeau & Hogan Hogan asks] How'd you do that? Let's knock out that bridge. - Oh, excuse me a moment, general. Not a laugh in the book. Boy, that stuff is really unstable! Sgt. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Who is that woman? Col. Wilhelm Klink: [sarcastically] Really? Col. Robert E. Hogan: Maybe it's some kind of new secret weapon. She is my interpreter, Hochstetter. Here, read this. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Ha. What do I do? [Zagoskin hands him his notebook] Now you may leave anytime, and take your spy, Private Berger, with you! Hogan, I Marya He said 'Achtung' so I said 'Good morning' right back to him. And it makes me feel good all over. Andrew Carter: Uh-huh, and sometimes little old men have big old guns. What makes you think he's fat? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Flattery will gain you nothing, my dear, Colonel. Heil Hitler! Col. Robert E. Hogan: The party was for me, sir. I was not here! Lady Leslie Chitterly: Robert Robert Hogan! We got our rights; we're as good as they are. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Yeah, in your case, Schultz, you'd need the New York Times. Sensational. Sgt. : Sgt. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Yes, Schultz. Andrew Carter: Well, that's what Newkirk says it means. If we're wrong, what are they going to do? She's clever, forceful, efficient, thrifty. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Are you crazy, Klink? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, I appreciate your concern, General, but I can assure you, you need not worry about my life being in danger. Discover and share Hogans Heroes Colonel Klink Quotes. HOCHSTETTER GETS THE DROP ON THE KILLER, IN MAJOR HOCHSTETTER, GESTAPO H ow's that for a provocative title? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What did you tell him? [Hogan pulls out two pieces of cake from behind his back] Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, thank you, Hogan. But you were here. Hogan: Well if it makes you feel any better, sir, there IS a chimpanzee raking in the garden. Be honest! Major Hochstetter a character not in the main cast was played by an American actor, as was French resistance leader Tiger. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Then why do you want me to marry her? Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Outraged] Or, you could be Big Fat Schultz Who Goes Swift And Sure To The Russian Front! Andrew Carter: You Germans can't get together on *anything.*. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Yes, I am. General von Rauscher: Are you aware that I am in charge of this project, and that this is the inventor? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I assume you have set up a strong guard for the plane? Nothing! Officer: [approaches Hogan] Might I assist you? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Do you consider this adequate punishment, Kom-man-dant? : Col. Wilhelm Klink Even if I say so myself, when I turn on the charm, I can be irresistible. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: If you did, I wouldn't be asking. So handsome and so unlucky. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Physical fitness is one thing. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, you fools. Hochstetter had several catchphrases, including (referring to Hogan) "Who is this man?" and "What is this man doing here?", and "I will surround this camp with a ring of steel." He would also shout "Baah!" as he leaves the room, when frustrated by the camp's incompetent commanding officer, Colonel Klink. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: You're a good-looking girl. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What is it at your camp, Klink? You are succeeding in doing by yourself what millions of enemy soldiers are unable to do. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Why don't you call headquarters and let them send over an expert. It's in the neighborhood. In the middle of World War II you give yourself a birthday party? Schultz: They aren't giving you a blindfold. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [annoyed] Now tell me: was it Tuesday or was it Wednesday? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: But, uh where is there to go in a prison camp? What does he look like? Col. Robert E. Hogan: You can kiss the bride. He'll do for them what he's done for you. Quotes Cpl. General der Infantrie Albert Burkhalter: Physical fitness is one thing. Oh, they're great goose-steppers, but nothing on the dance floor. In a few minutes Nimrod will be my prisoner. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter How about "Lili Marlene"! Major Hochstetter: WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Hogan, are you a spy? I won't say a word. [Hogan's men react angrily when he volunteers to help rebuild the Adolf Hitler Bridge in exchange for Klink's promise to reopen the recreation hall]. Not sufficient entertainment, perhaps. No matter who you're calling it's still the wrong number because I don't even have a phone! Col. Wilhelm Klink: Well, that's the way I picture him. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe: [skims through a collection of maps and finds Pittsburgh] Pittsburgh? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Personally? Quotes.net. What is it? That's the third tray of hors d'oeuvres LeBeau has sent in. You are now Big Chief Running Bear Who Goes Swift And Sure To Beer Garden. Sgt. Gertrude Linkmeyer: I would like to get married again if the right man came along. One of these wires disconnects the fuse, the other one fires the bomb. Cpl. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Operation Albatross? The moonlight- it's beautiful on the laundry or the bakery. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Carter, civilians aren't allowed to carry firearms, and besides Kinch'll be outside if you need any help. Major Hans Kuehn: Very interesting. Marya For possibly the first time, Klink is entirely sure of himself]Major Hochstetter: Well, now, Klink, are you ready to hand him over to me?Colonel Klink: Major Hochstetter! Col. Robert E. Hogan: [Hogan is kissing Tiger goodbye out on the compound]. You obviously worked hard on this plan, Klink. Please! A secret is sacred to me. Sergeant Walters: You're thinking of going there? What is going on there? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: That is me. I got so excited. My lips are sealed. You don't even know how to spell the word. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink, you meant the lady in the red dress, and she has been eating steadily for an hour and a half. Have you read his book on the chain of command? Col. Robert E. Hogan: Shhh. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. 9.61K subscribers Subscribe 64K views 2 years ago This is a compilation of all of the times Major Hochstetter ever said "Who is this man?" and "What is this man doing here". Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [draws gun, pointing it to LeBeau's head] Take your choice, huh: waltz, foxtrot, or shot as an escaping prisoner. This was originally. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: He isn't going anywhere with the information, is he? Col. Wilhelm Klink: [annoyed] Colonel Hogan, I'm very busy this morning - dispatches from Berlin. And a 'Good day' to you, too, Schultz. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Ja, I believe I have. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Schultz, take him away. Peter Newkirk: Oh, is that what it means? Hans Georg Schultz: Well Colonel Hogan asked me if he could leave the camp tonight again to see the baroness. Hogan: Oh, yeah. I'm warning you. Col. Robert E. Hogan: That's cruel and inhuman punishment. Therefore Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: ALL HEADS WILL ROLL. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Col. Klink and Helga are listening to music being played by the POWs] You know, Helga, do you know that the whole of our beautiful national soul, our culture is expressed in "The Ride of the Valkyries?". Carter: [answers the phone in a mock-German accent] I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number. Which wire, Colonel Klink? [takes Hogan's hand, both leave Klink's office]. What witness? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Colonel Hogan, just tell me this. After service in the Navy during WWII, Caine continued his studies at The School of . Col. Wilhelm Klink: I was not aware that it's my birthday. Col. Wilhelm Klink: I wouldn't believe one word you said, Hogan. Andrew Carter: I think it's much safer to think of something else. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Except, major, I quite clearly had no part in this whole affair. Bring the Third Reich to its knees." Col. Wilhelm Klink: The fat prosecutor, whoever that is. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Don't ask me, this is a decision for an officer. Mental fitness, that's another. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Because you could fly or because you were bald? : General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I feel the same way. Now come on General think of how long you've know Colonel Klink. Hogan, I will not go down alone. Major Hochstetter Cpl. Louis LeBeau: I wasn't sure what that one meant myself. Col. Wilhelm Klink: I never said anything about Friday. I saved you some cake. Cpl. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [after catching Schultz accepting items from the prisoners] Cigarettes? : Colonel Klink: Those prisoners will be released over my dead body! General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Neither am I. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Schultz, close the gates! Colonel Klink: When I looked out the window I thought I saw a chimpanzee raking in the garden. Peter Newkirk: Yes, good thing the mail arrived. : James 'Kinch' Kinchloe: Well, how do we get ahold of it? Carter: [answers the phone in a mock-German accent] I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number. I will crack this in not time at all. Sgt. These lines are drawn from the points where the sabotage has taken place. Instead of your party, I'll be soaking my knee". Hogan: There's never a cop when you need one, [Hogan impersonating Gestapo and holds up a General at gunpoint]. Col. Robert E. Hogan: [as German general] Take this man's name, Putzi! Colonel Hauptmann is a very lucky man. It's a long trip to this camp, you know. I have? General von Rauscher: I AM IN CHARGE OF SECURITY- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE? : Andrew Carter: Hey, gang! I talk about you all the time, when you are not around. : See also Peter Newkirk: [as German adjutant] Transfer to the Russian front, sir, or court-martial to be shot? Peter Newkirk: In that case, sir, why don't you tell us what you've thought of? : Major Hochstetter : [repeated line, whenever Col. Hogans shows up] What is this man doing here? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: That's what's so amazing. This is a prisoner of war camp. You run such a perfect camp, Klink, you have no need for a cooler. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Even if the wrong man comes along, you'd better grab him. Wild horses and torture could not drag one syllable out of me. Peter Newkirk: What did you say, Schultz? Col. Wilhelm Klink: I am a man of many sides. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Confidentially, I've never seen a Gestapo man that could. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink, this transfer is an order from the highest authority in the Third Reich. I took a bearing from the roof of Klink's office. | You have chosen the most dangerous man in all of Germany as a witness. Can't hold their liquor. I will give you any information that I have. Sgt. [Normal tone of voice] You make me feel terrible. Col. Robert E. Hogan: I don't know anything about the underground or sabotage. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: What are you babbling about? Coming from the Gestapo, that sounds very funny. Col. Wilhelm Klink: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Col. Robert E. Hogan That's fifty miles away through the heart of Germany. Who is that woman? What is this man doing here? Who's worried about firing? Hopefully, you will go. General von Rauscher, Col. Wilhelm Klink: My dear major, there is no danger of it firing- General von Rauscher: Firing? *What is this man doing here?*. Col. Robert E. Hogan: [indignantly] That's to keep the tooth warm! Top Major Hochstetter Quotes Writing has power, but its power has no vector. Col. Wilhelm Klink: A-ha, those Staff Officers they are so clever. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [Zagoskin hands him his notebook] Until I clear you, you will please stop inventing. Col. Wilhelm Klink: But, But this is classified, General. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [surprised and aghast] Hogan, you are the biggest liar I have ever met in my whole life! Col. Robert E. Hogan: Well, it's obvious, major. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Through our local travelers aid man, Colonel Klink. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Burkhalter enters Klink's office] What a pleasure to see you, sir. Like coming home to mother's cottage. Colonel Klink: Why do you keep looking at the time, Hogan? SCHULTZ May I ask, are we deserting to Switzerland or Sweden? He studied under Colonel Klink Bloopers [] Major Hochstetter says that Hammelburg (near Stalag 13) has been chosen because of its proximity to Dsseldorf, but his geography is way off -- Hammelburg is 250KM from Dsseldorf. Thirty days in the cooler. What is this bungler doing here? General von Rauscher When the Allies march in the front gate, it'll go a lot easier for you if you're standing there with a bouquet of pansies. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I consider it the perfect oversight. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Oh, Nimrod is a very brilliant man. Back to Stalag 13. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [the men are planting flowers] I was not aware that you were such a nature lover. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe: You keep that up and Klink'll be down here in a minute and there goes the ball game! | Sgt. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I see no reason why Colonel Hogan shouldn't watch a demonstration of German efficiency. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: I will arrange it. Col. Robert E. Hogan: I wasn't sure which was the right one, but I was certain you'd pick the wrong one. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: It is about his defense counsel. Disgraceful. : Col. Wilhelm Klink: [addressing the prisoners] And while I'm on leave Col. Kureger will be in charge of Stalag 13. Sgt. Louis LeBeau: Then why are they bringing it here? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Of course not! Sgt. Andrew Carter: Sure. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I know, and it still mystifies me. 694 17K views 2 years ago Hogan's Heroes! Col. Wilhelm Klink: The men responsible for this will be confined to barracks for two weeks. [Major Hochstetter returns to Stalag 13, demanding that Klink surrender the man in hiding. 'Achtung' is a command. Col. Robert E. Hogan You can transfer to a frontline combat unit. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Why not? It ran for 168 episodes from September 17, 1965, to April 4, 1971, on the CBS network. [He gives Schultz a feather headdress], Sgt. What is this man doing here? Colonel Klink: Glad to have you with us, Captain. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [on holiday at the ski lodge] Well, I'm here to forget all about the war for awhile. It's not big enough to stand up in, and it is not big enough to lie down in. Hans Georg Schultz: Be a good fellow and take me with you. WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE? Are you aware that I am in charge of this project, and that this is the inventor? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Hochstetter:"In the middle of a war, you give yourself a birthday party?" Hogan:"Not at all, Major. Col. Wilhelm Klink: I'm sure Mrs. Burkhalter was famished when she arrived. What else did you do? | Let me say, sir. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Thank you. Col. Wilhelm Klink: This time tell me the good news first. I'll call headquarters and have them send over a cryptologist. Colonel Klink: I'm afraid I cannot accommodate you, Captain. [walks towards door, gives his classical] BAH! Dr. Hermann Felzer: [Klink has been chosen to lead a top secret assignment] You have been chosen for an assignment that involves the highest security project in the Third Reich. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [muttering] Oh yes, heil Hitler. Cpl. Having to relay orders of a man like that. General von Rauscher General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Yes, I heard the phone ring, I heard you say Mairzy Doats, and I watched you eat a wad of paper. Peter Newkirk: Yeah, but how are you fixed for film? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Sgt. Cpl. Carter: Heck, I've seen groundhogs down there that were lost. Hans Georg Schultz: You said it, big boy. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [annoyed] I didn't say you said anything about Friday. Cpl. Col. Robert E. Hogan: You're the same bunch of guys that put him in business. Col. Robert E. Hogan: [after the death of Hercules] This plan better work. Probably an oversight at headquarters. Unquote. You only thought he was stupid. Back, back, all of you. Basic vowel substitutes. : : This is WHY Major Wolfgang Hochstetter Was PROBABLY Agent "Nimrod!" Many watching Hogan's Heroes have seen the episode, the Missing Klink. Berlin is calling every minute. I'm sick and tired of fighting and bloodshed. Col. Robert E. Hogan: [talking about the show for Klink] All right, now, the main thing is to keep them entertained till the job is done. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You have one simple alternative, Commandant. KLINK Go get Colonel Hogan. How I could have been so fooled by Klink. Firing? https://www.quotes.net/movies/hogan's_heroes_103035, https://www.quotes.net/movies/hogan's_heroes_quotes_103035. He'll try to use the tunnel a day earlier and really escape. You've made me homesick for Cleveland. | Hogan: [the phone rings while Hogan's men are cracking a safe] Answer the phone, tell him it's the wrong number. Hans Georg Schultz: Oh, no, Herr Commandant. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Ah, I always have a glass before bedtime makes me sleep like a baby. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Now, that's the worst blow of all. Colonel Sitzer: [Klink has just been told he is to receive an award] You will be presented with an award and a national radio hookup. General von Rauscher, Col. Wilhelm Klink: My dear major, there is no danger of it firing- General von Rauscher: Firing? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink, stop agreeing with me. Since when is he running this prison camp? Marya Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: It was a great personal loss to me. Col. Robert E. Hogan: What can I say? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR SECURITY HERE. No, wait a minute. Col. Robert E. Hogan: [trying to persuade Col. Klink to call General Burkhalter] Why don't you give him a call, sir it means so much to him. seint makeup causing breakouts,

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